Mature Love

This is MATURE LOVE!

No matter your political preference what resonates is the love that this couple share for one another.  I actually cried when I saw this embrace.  Real or imagined via this picture, this is the type of love that we all dream of having.
I am a little older now and what I once considered ideal love, I have found not to be so  ideal.  I have an older  sister and have posed the question to her, "What is really important for you to have in a man at age 60?" What I do know is that my thoughts have changed over the years. Let me see if I can recap by age.
Twenties:  College educated, good looking and a job. I can remember that a good looking man with a job was a catch.  In my twenties, I was thinking about starting  to have children  so great genes were important because God forbid  that I would have an ugly baby and a job meant that we could pull together to buy the things that we wanted and could have a social life.  Basically we both are broke.
Thirties: College educated, ok looking and a career. Hey, baby making was done.  Genes weren't as important.  A career meant that we could start empire building and acquire bigger and better things. Meaningful conversations  and family became more important.
Forties: Where I am now, Smart, financially savvy, and healthy.  Big difference now.  This is where maturity starts to kick-in.  I know now that a degree does not make a person.  I have learned that there are many millionaires that are successful without a college degree. Having someone who is intelligent is far better than just looking for someone with a college degree.  Finances are important.  It is more prudent that a person knows how to effectively manage money and is able to plan for retirement.  I know a lot of financially corrupt  and bankrupt millionaires who lost fortunes and will have to be on a job while on their death beds. Having someone who is healthy and in shape is more important than just being good looking. When you are thinking about traveling and enjoying a retirement, it will be a bummer not to be able to enjoy life because of health issues.  Being healthy also means that a fulfilling sex  life is possible.  Any forty year old woman will tell you that she is in her sexual prime and sex is important.  At forty all of the sexual hang-ups seem to disappear.
I believe that mature love  begins when we are in our forties.  Life experiences have taught us what is important.  We have learned that we cannot fight every battle.  We are self assure and we understand who we are and have determined our core values.  Pure and mature love is possible.  Our old love has grown or new love is found.  I am not sure what the Fifties will bring but I know that I want what I feel when I look at the picture above of Obamas.

Here are two links to books that have helped me to mature:

His Needs Her Needs

5 Love Languages

Raising Girls to Be Strong Women

The life of a parent is not easy.  When our children are born they do not come with instruction manuals that tell us what we should do daily to ensure that the end result of our parenting is well adjusted, productive people.  I have at times sat sad and confused about how to parent my daughters.  However, I can proudly admit that no matter how any mistakes that I have made along the way, I have pretty great kids.  I truly thank God every day for this reality.  I know what it means when someone says that there is power in a mother's prayers.  My advice is that when you are confused, pray even harder.  By no means are my girls angels but they are great people and while I did not have an instruction manual here are some things that worked for me especially as a single mother.

1. Talk honestly and openly with your children but remember your discussions should be age appropriate.

2. Get your children involved in your community, church and/or sports.

3. Discipline your children as appropriate.  Some children respond better to timeouts or stern admonishment.  Some children you may have to spank.  Learn which approach works best  with your child.

4. It takes a village to raise a child.  Group parenting with close friends that you respect and trust works well.  Others sometime can get through to your children when you cannot.  And yes...they will sometime just reinforce what you have been saying all along.

5.  Be respectful to your children.  It is ok to say please and thank you to them.

6.  Remember always that you are their parent and not their friend.

7.  There is never a compromise when it come to right or wrong, legal or illegal.

8.  What you do and what you say count.  Your children are always watching and are little "mini me's".

9. Don't be afraid to set high standard and goals for your children and provide structure.

10. Spend one on one time with your children in their room. Talk with them for 30 minutes to one hour in their rooms.  Observe the contents of their room.  Ask questions about anything in their rooms that peeks your interest. Openly discuss anything in their room that causes you concern.  Remember...while you respect them, you are not their friend and they have no privacy that is not earned in your home. Trust equates to privacy. Distrust equates to no privacy.

Bonus: Both parents are important.  Children need their mother and father.  Don't be afraid to get a Godmother or Godfather for your children if the other parent is irresponsible.  Having both  sexes involved in the raring of a child adds dimension and perspective to a child's life.  Put aside differences when possible for the sake of your child.  Don't be afraid to ask for support from friends.

Click on link for a great book!

Your-Daughters-Bedroom-Insights