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Friday, September 7, 2012

Mature Love

No matter your political preference what resonates is the love that this couple share for one another.  I actually cried when I saw this embrace.  Real or imagined via this picture, this is the type of love that we all dream of having.
I am a little older now and what I once considered ideal love, I have found not to be so  ideal.  I have an older  sister and have posed the question to her, "What is really important for you to have in a man at age 60?" What I do know is that my thoughts have changed over the years. Let me see if I can recap by age.
Twenties:  College educated, good looking and a job. I can remember that a good looking man with a job was a catch.  In my twenties, I was thinking about starting  to have children  so great genes were important because God forbid  that I would have an ugly baby and a job meant that we could pull together to buy the things that we wanted and could have a social life.  Basically we both are broke.
Thirties: College educated, ok looking and a career. Hey, baby making was done.  Genes weren't as important.  A career meant that we could start empire building and acquire bigger and better things. Meaningful conversations  and family became more important.
Forties: Where I am now, Smart, financially savvy, and healthy.  Big difference now.  This is where maturity starts to kick-in.  I know now that a degree does not make a person.  I have learned that there are many millionaires that are successful without a college degree. Having someone who is intelligent is far better than just looking for someone with a college degree.  Finances are important.  It is more prudent that a person knows how to effectively manage money and is able to plan for retirement.  I know a lot of financially corrupt  and bankrupt millionaires who lost fortunes and will have to be on a job while on their death beds. Having someone who is healthy and in shape is more important than just being good looking. When you are thinking about traveling and enjoying a retirement, it will be a bummer not to be able to enjoy life because of health issues.  Being healthy also means that a fulfilling sex  life is possible.  Any forty year old woman will tell you that she is in her sexual prime and sex is important.  At forty all of the sexual hang-ups seem to disappear.
I believe that mature love  begins when we are in our forties.  Life experiences have taught us what is important.  We have learned that we cannot fight every battle.  We are self assure and we understand who we are and have determined our core values.  Pure and mature love is possible.  Our old love has grown or new love is found.  I am not sure what the Fifties will bring but I know that I want what I feel when I look at the picture above of Obamas.

Here are two links to books that have helped me to mature:

His Needs Her Needs

5 Love Languages

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