Family Love

It is so easy to neglect our family.  I believe this happens because we take for granted that they will always be there.  Around this time in 2005, I had closed on a new home.  My mother and sisters came to Florida to help me move into my new home.  Think about it.  Christmas coming, unpacking, setting up a new home and trying to decorate all at the same time.  It was so chaotic that I had to laugh.  We actually were able to put up the Christmas tree on Christmas eve.  By New Years day, we had gotten some semblance of order.  The day after New Years day my mother and sister left headed back to the Carolinas.  Little did I know that this would be the last holiday that we would spend with our mother.  On January 9, 2006, my mother died of a blood clot in the lung.  Talk about shocked and devastated.  I am just glad that I had a special time with my mother that holiday.  I hugged her and kissed her and just babied her.  This was something that I never did because my mother was such a strong black woman.  There was never any room to pamper her.  However,  the time that we spent together during that Christmas revealed a vulnerability in her that I had never seen.  I can remember whispering in her ears that I loved her. It was like a vale was removed between us and roles were beginning to be reversed.  For the first time in my life, I saw her as my baby who needed to be loved and protected.  I am so glad that God granted me this time with her. I am glad we spoke those words that are often times left unspoken.  I know she left here knowing that I truly loved her and I know that she truly loved me.  Take time this holiday to mend fences and speak the unspoken.  We never know for whom the bell will toll.

Did You Know That There Are Five Love Languages?

Boy!  I wish someone had explained this to me some time ago.  Life surely would have been easier for the kid.  Gary Chapman explains this theory in detail in his series of books called, "The Five Love Languages".  Needless to say, I went through life loving others as my mother and grandmother expressed love to me.  It just seemed like the natural  thing to do...right?  Ok, so as we get older, we learn something new everyday.  You can in fact teach an old dog a new trick.  I learned that there are five distinct ways that people give and receive love.  They are 1. Words of Affirmation, 2. Gifts, 3. Acts of Service, 4. Quality Time, 5. Physical Touch.  Low and behold the love language of your parents will be the one that you learn how to speak first and will be your primary language.  This is called the "heart language".  It is definitely a must that you know how you receive love and how your significant other receives love.  Once this is understood both of your love cups stay full.  For example, If your love language is gifts or acts of service and you are given words of kindness, no matter how many kind words that are said to you, you will always feel empty.  However, a simple small box of Godiva chocolates of a new gadget of some sort will go a very long way.  Get it now?